Last night my parents hosted their annual tree trimming party. They’ve thrown this party every year since I was very little- earliest photographs that I’ve found claim the date 1987 (I would’ve been 4, my brother not yet a year old) although we may give or take a year. Chances are good they did some iteration of this party before my generation came into the picture. I cannot confirm or deny, but suffice it to say- this party is cemented into the calendar year as an Event. It consists of 4 Jewish families whose patriarchs went to grade school together; this is not a blood relative gathering. We call ourselves Stabah - our chosen family (“Stabah” is actually gibberish, but we’ve assigned the definition accordingly). The breakdown of members is as follows: 4 patriarchs and their spouses (8), each pair has 2 children (16), 7 of the 8 children have spouses (23), and now the children have children ( well, 3 of them do anyway, 3, 2, and 2, respectively) which brings our total body count to 30, ranging in age from a few months old to 70ish. We all gather in my parents’ house to decorate a Christmas tree. The religious significance of said tree has no bearing on any of us and honestly I think that if you were to ask anyone present to explain why they were engaging in such a ritual, the response would be because it’s fun. Baby Jesus, who dat? 🤷🏻♀️
Anyway, it was loud and joyful and overwhelming. At one point I turned to a couple of my contemporaries whilst cradling one of their offspring on my right hip and said: I feel like the period where this party was a group of adults with their older adults went by so quickly. We all chuckled. Toddler on my hip sucked on her finger. Rogue parent eavesdropping probably thought to themselves pfft yeah bet you don’t remember when it was just 8 20-somethings and their single baby each. We mulled for a hot second then snapped back to the happy chaos.
At another point I said to one member of my generation: I feel suddenly the overwhelming importance of keeping this house in our possession after our parents are gone so that we have a place for this party. She agreed with the appropriate level of energy to affirm that this must be a truth we protect. The thought that the party could easily happen elsewhere (because all we need is the tree, really) did not dawn on us.
I can’t attest to the strength of rituals amongst my peers because I honestly don’t have any (not counting the many sweet tiny rituals my husband and I share) so I don’t know if rituals are a thing people my age or younger adhere to with the kind of determination that is exerted by the members of Stabah. But this ritual is so very important, so very dear, I am so very grateful for it, and the babes born of my generation need to have it for as long as we can carry it.
This week’s delights:
I bought this in the solid and I’ve been wearing it nonstop.
This is currently on my needles, in this gorgeous bisque color.
I just got this and it’s been so delicious in my morning coffee.
I’ve been eyeing these and these for a couple weeks now… which ones do I pick?
God, I just want this tube top.
I’ll see you sometime in the early new year! -Kai.
P.S. I’ll take a pair. Why not.